In this section:
1 What exactly do we mean by the social environment?
2 Advice and resources for teaching (neurotypical and neurodivergent) social rules and expectations
4 Teaching social understanding ‘in the moment’
A ♥ indicates images that follow are hyperlinked
1 What exactly do we mean by the social environment?
According to NAIT ‘the social environment includes the relationships the learner has with peers and adults, social rules and expectations, and the ways these are communicated’.
Underpinned by research, we know autistic learners social stage of development/understanding likely to be several years behind their cognitive stage of development, irrespective of chronological age. We should be aware of ‘where they are at’ and teach them/help them understand the social skills that will help them understand non-autistic ways of communicating which will, in turn, make day-to-day functioning less stressful. Remember from Question 1, even seemingly highly verbal learners may actually possess very poor social understanding. Assume nothing!
It’s important to understand that most autistic learners will benefit from direct teaching of the unwritten social ‘rules’ that non-autistic learners just seem to develop intuitively. Helping autistic learners understand these social rules can significantly reduce anxiety since it can help them work out the intentions of others. We are NOT saying they have to blindly follow and abide by neurotypical social rules and structures, rather they develop some knowledge of why non-autistic people interact the way they do. However, if we are truly to embrace the double empathy theory (see Question 1), we must acknowledge that non- autistics should also learn to understand and accept that autistic learners will likely have different (not defective or broken) social interaction skills. We must learn to speak each others ‘language’.
I’m NAS Teen Life programme trained. In one of the supporting videos I listened to Dean Beadle (and autistic speaker and singer – follow his Facebook page) say something that stuck with me. The topic was social skills. He was recounting his school days and his inability to understand his peers socially and said he wished someone had taught him all the complex, unwritten social rules others seemed to play by. He was very clear he did not wish to be not autistic, just that he wished he had the very hard earned knowledge and understanding he now has when he was younger. It could have spared him a great deal of the stress and anxiety he experienced by not ‘fitting in’.
What do the key documents say?
P4 ‘The social environment includes the relationships the learner has with peers and adults, social rules and expectations and the way these are communicated’.
P3 ‘The social environment includes the relationships the learner has with peers and adults, social rules and expectations and the way these are communicated. Adults and peers determine the social environment through their actions, mindset and attitude’.
P15 ‘The social environment is concerned with the attitudes, expectations and actions of those within the class and how these can affect the learners wither positively or negatively. The following points should be considered’:
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Social Skills (below)
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Emotional Regulation (see question 5 – Emotional Understanding)
Let’s look a bit more closely at socials skills and social interaction. From the NAS website …
♥A couple of short videos by Neurodivergent Lou on the topic of autistic communication.
A starting point in school might be helping all learners to understand neurodiversity i.e. beginning to embrace the double empathy theory. Salvesen Mindroom (a long-established Edinburgh based charity) in partnership with Edinburgh University have produced a pack for schools called LEANS.
♥ The website explains:
‘Neurodiversity will be a new concept and new set of vocabulary within many schools. The LEANS curriculum introduces neurodiversity concepts, and explores how they impact primary school experiences. Importantly, LEANS shows how we can hold a positive attitude towards neurodiversity, while also recognising the challenges faced by many children in school’.
‘LEANS is a free curriculum to introduce pupils aged 8-11 to the concept of neurodiversity, and help them explore how it impacts school experiences. It is a teacher-delivered resource for the whole class. LEANS is guided by three big goals: know-think-do. The aim is for participating pupils and staff to…
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KNOW: Increase their knowledge of neurodiversity terms and concepts.
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THINK: Develop more positive attitudes towards neurodiversity and neurodivergence.
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DO: Increase individuals’ positive and inclusive actions within the school community.’
♥This visual from Jill Kuzma might be useful in helping you understand the learner’s thinking and perspective.
♥ I like this too
2 Advice and resources for teaching understanding of social skills, rules, structures, expectations
What follows is in no particular order. It’s a collection of resources I’ve gathered and used or recommended over the years. I’ve begun with the rules around friendship since it is a constant source of worry for the parents of autistic learners and it’s something most of the learners I know really struggle with. Reflecting on advice from the GTC and NAIT, what supports autistic learners supports all learners. The following resources will be of benefit to everyone.
Understanding the unwritten social rules around friendship. I deliberately deal with this first since it is a ‘biggie’. A slide from one of my sessions which outlines what learners may benefit from being taught. I suggest this isn’t just for autistic learners!
I’ve used the visuals that follow in all sorts of ways.
♥ From NLC Communication Friendly
♥From Jill Kuzma’s website
♥and
♥Understanding different types of friendships from NLC Communication Friendly
♥Another from NLC Communication Friendly
♥NLC Communication Friendly
♥NLC Communication Friendly
♥NLC Communication Friendly
♥From Jill Kuzma, this visual might help them work out their role in a friendship.
♥Good advice from Ambitious About Autism.
♥ Two autistic adults talking about friendships.
♥From Jill Kuzma’s website to help learners understand what bullying actually is.
♥A 2 minute video which explains ways to teach learners the difference between bullying and other social interactions.
♥This under 2 minute video suggests a strategy to teach learners how to report bullying to an adult.
♥Another 2 minute video which explains how to use a ‘cue card’.
♥ … and a 30 second video explaining a strategy to encourage/support learners to report bullying.
♥Info on the difference between friendly and unfriendly teasing from Jill Kuzma.
♥and
♥ And from NLC communication Friendly
♥It can be so difficult for some learners to work out when to tell and when not to tell. Great visual from Jill Kuzma. You may need to adjust the language as most learners won’t use ‘tattling’. Not sure I like the image or wording (tattle tale tongue) – easily tippexed out!
♥ From NLC Communication Friendly
♥Some general advice on how to make new friends from NLC Communication Friendly
♥Some further reading from NAS on female friendships
♥A short explanation of why waiting is difficult for autistic learners, and some advice and resources on how to teach the skills of waiting.
♥Love this idea posted on ‘Staffroom – Resources and Websites’ on Facebook
♥Powerpoint to explain ‘impulse control’ to children and young people from Jill Kuzma. (You’ll need to scroll down to find it but you’ll come across other useful resources). NB for some learners this is a skill that can take years to master. For others, it may just be too difficult.
♥A free downloadable comic strip reminder about sharing.
♥Free, downloadable social story ‘I can share with my friends’.
♥A video which explains sharing and turn taking to children. Reminder! One of the suggestions in the video is ‘look at your friend’ – something suggested in many resources. However, looking at and making eye contact with others can be overwhelming or even painful for some autistic people. Please be aware of how your learner feels about this and NEVER insist on eye contact.
♥A 2 minute video from Middletown Centre for Autism which explains why turn taking is difficult and a suggestion of how to teach the skill of turn taking.
♥Some ideas and visuals for teaching turn taking to older learners.
♥A visual from Jill Kuzma’s website for support assistants – good advice on modelling how to help youngsters to join in at break times. A little dated but still good advice.
♥Yet another great visual from Jill Kuzma explaining the unwritten rules around how to operate in different social situations in class.
For many reasons, some autistic learners simply cannot work in a pair/group. Nowadays, I would always offer the learner the choice of how they preferred to work.
Joining Games/Situations
Some advice from the National Autistic Society:
‘Make sure your child actually knows what a ‘game’ is and they know the rules everyone else is playing by. It is important they understand that in many games there will be a winner and a loser. Many autistic children will not understand this unless it is discussed with them first.
After establishing observational skills, teach your child how to choose children who might be compatible playmates with similar interests. For example, if your child wants to talk about football – choose a child playing football, rather than a child who is reading a book or playing with a computer game. Some autistic children will just assume everyone is interested in what they have to say, so by helping them guess what children are interested it might narrow this search down.
Teach your child a script that they can say if they want to play with someone and rehearse it with them. Make sure you practise alternative endings, eg what to do if they say no. Also explain that it’s ok to spend time alone. Having a cue card with the key phrases on it that they can have in their pocket if they get nervous can be a good backup visual support too.
Encourage your child to go to an adult if they don’t get the response they are looking for and talk it over with them, rather than with the child themselves. Explain why having an argument may affect any future attempts to play with this child. Perhaps provide them with a card they can hand to a teacher asking for space when they are upset rather than having to talk through the issue.’
There’s a great deal to learn!
A 3 minute video which teaches children how to ask a friend to play – and what to do if they say no!
♥From the Middletown Centre for Autism and explanation of why losing may be difficult for autistic children and links to a couple of resources to teach them the skills of losing.
♥A downloadable booklet ‘Learning from Losing a Game’.
♥Sportsmanship checklist from Jill Kuzma’s website.
♥A social story about ‘winning and losing’.
♥‘Playing the Friendship Game’ social story for older children and young people to help them understand how to be a good loser.
♥Free social story about winning and losing.
♥A couple of 3 minute videos to help teach children/young people the meaning of compromise.
♥Free social story to teach about personal space.
♥I like this short video as it teaches the flexibility of social rules like personal space. There are no hard and fast rules – it depends!
♥A visual you can use with older children as a prompt when teaching about personal space.
♥A powerpoint presentation for older children which teaches the rules governing personal space.
Be aware! The child may be interrupting because they don’t understand the social rules around this topic, in which case, teach them the rules. They may be interrupting as they are afraid they may forget what they wish to say (and be very aware of the social rules around not interrupting). In this instance, not allowing a child to say or record what it is they wish to say can be highly stress inducing. Find out which it is before proceeding.
♥This visual explains why and when interrupting is unacceptable and helps teach children and young people how to manage and regulate this skill.
♥This 3 minute video teaches children when and how to interrupt.
An ex colleague posted this on her Facebook page ‘Classroom Strategies’. A brilliant idea of how to visually represent waiting.
I make no apology for reminding everyone that the goal is not necessarily to have children blindly following the rules you are teaching. As NAIT say ‘The goal is not compliance’. The goal is to give them information which they can choose to use or not in social situations. Perhaps not as black and white as that but I hope you get my drift.
Some advice from the National Autistic Society about conversations:
‘Conversations are not predictable and involve an immediate response. This is why many autistic people avoid conversations with their peers and will often talk to adults or children much older or younger than themselves.’
‘Using a ‘talking stick’ that someone must be holding to have their turn at speaking, and timers to indicate the end of their turn.’
‘Board games can help to teach turn-taking, as they are visual, and have real things that show that it’s your turn (eg dice, counters).’
‘Use pictures of people and draw blank speech bubbles. The child needs to use their observation skills to establish what the context is and work out what they might be saying or thinking.’
‘Game – ‘never ending story’. One person starts and says one word only such as one, the next person says another word such as “day”, and you keep going between yourselves adding one word at a time. This requires the both of you to listen to what the other person has said and tailor your response to keep the story going. These stories can end up being very silly and fun – but they can help to develop listening skills.’
♥Visuals and games from Joel Shaul to teach older learners about the unwritten rules of conversations.
♥Tips and visuals to give them some ideas of conversation starters.
♥Tips and visuals to help teach about ‘common ground’ in conversations.
♥Another activity to help teach ‘common ground’ in conversations.
♥And one more. Outdated terms (high functioning autism and Asperger’s) but still good suggestions.
♥A visual and a video which helps teach children and young people about ‘balance’ in conversation.
♥Information and visuals to help teach children and young people how to give compliments.
♥How to play ‘compliment tig’.
♥Not a quick project but well worth investing time and effort. Information on how to use videos to teach social skills.
♥Conversation map visual to help learners understand the ‘structure’ of how a conversation might flow.
♥Some more information on conversations.
♥From Jill Kuzma another great visual to help them understand how to avoid ‘putting your foot in it’.
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3 Teaching social skills and understanding ‘in the moment’
♥Staff and parents can be teaching social skills incidentally throughout the day by labelling and modelling.
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Label and interpret how you think the child might be feeling.
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Clear, concise, positive language.
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Appropriate level for child.
